Wednesday, May 18, 2011
By Kim Kohatsu
First, there's the Mayans. Then, there's the billboards. And if none of that bothers you, there's climate change. Whatever is going on, there seems to be a lot of talk about the end of the world in 2012. So, *just in case*, here's a couple ways CallFire can help you maximize the (limited?) days you have left.

Send a Goodbye Voice Broadcast

You know a lot of people, but you don't have a lot of time. At least not enough to call them each individually. So get on the phone and record a message just once, and send it out to your whole contact list. This video will show you how. Don't worry, it's only 5 minutes. We realize time is ticking.
When you record your voice broadcast, feel free to use this script, or alter it as necessary.
Hello. This is [ your name ]. As a precaution to the world's end [ on Saturday / in December / when the zombies attack ], I just wanted to let you know that... [ I love you / I hate you / I'm sorry for... / I haven't forgotten that one time when you... ]. As this may be the last time you hear from me, I hope the one thing you'll remember is that [ I loved you in this world, and I'll love you in the next / I hope we're not going to the same place / I told you so / I've sent the pictures to everyone ]. I'll always think of you as [ my one true love / my friend / my partner / my mortal enemy ] even though [ you don't feel the same way / your family would never approve / I've only ever talked to you in internet forums ] With this message, I bid you a final [ adieu / fond farewell / extended middle finger / goodbye ]
Your message will be sent at a rate of 50 calls per minute, which should be fast enough to reach everyone you know in time.

But what about the people to whom you want to bid farewell personally?

Aha! CallFire has a solution for that too. Because with only a few days left, do you really want to spend them dialing numbers, and trying to remember what you need to say? Of course not. This is a serious matter. For this, CallFire has an end-of-the-world remedy: the Cloud Call Center. But in case there's any confusion, we're not talking about *those* clouds—this isn't a direct line to the heavens. It's calling through the clouds, and dialing auto-magically. Watch here:
Now, let's think about this script a little more carefully. The beauty of the Cloud Call Center is you can customize your scripts with multiple-choice questions and open-answer text fields. So perhaps you'll want to set something up like this:

Now as you make your calls, you'll have a guide. And you can take notes should you need to take any follow-up actions, such as offline retribution, or sending a nice bouquet.

But what happens if the world doesn't end?

Wouldn't you know, CallFire has a solution for that as well. It's called an SMS Broadcast, or the "Oops, my bad" text message. Watch how:
Best of all, you can pre-schedule your text, so if you're locked in a bunker and can't get to your CallFire account, everything is all set to go... just in case.
* This blog post is meant to be satirical. If you intend to use CallFire, you may only message opt-in clients. Please consult an attorney to familiarize yourself with local, state and federal telecommunications guidelines. More information on Telecom Compliance can be found on our website. Please dial responsibly. Thank you. *
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